I recently lost my cat. She was the love of my life. She has green eyes, grey fur in more shades than you can imagine, a white belly, and the most beautiful soul I've ever known. When I first met her, it was winter time, and she used to scramble up my stairs to eat the food I had put out for her, and then scramble back down the stairs again. She would sit on the fence across from me and silently meow at me. She was adorable and funny from the beginning. She was and will always be my dream cat, my soul match.
Later, she worked up the courage to come inside, tail shaking and all, and walked over to me and rubbed up against my leg. I fell in love immediately with her warmth and grace and sweet, wild spirit. Another time I had been out of town for almost two weeks, and when I returned, she ran across the room and leaped into my arms. She was allergic to fleas and had the cutest sneeze ever. She loved catnip, two of her toy mouses, and lots of hugs.
It has been three weeks now and I don't know if she's alive or not. Some neighbors mentioned coyotes. I just moved into my neighborhood. If I had know they were here, I would have never moved. Nothing is more precious than life or your relationships with other sentient beings. In trying to make sense out of it or make peace with it, I ran across another blog on here I wrote a few years ago: "Gifts from the Sea." I talk about how if you truly appreciate and enjoy the moments you have, then it doesn't matter how long they last:
"...(s)he who kisses the joy as it flies lives in Eternity's sunrise."
Blake's quote finds me again, and with it peace. My cat was my best friend. I cannot even put into words how close our bond was and how beautiful her body and spirit were to me. She was my angel. She had a beautiful, wild, wise, silly spirit, and loved to be outdoors exploring or enjoying the sun. One time she fell asleep on the top of the porch and fell off of it.
Another time, she shimmied down the tree near the porch, and sprained her leg. She came back around to my front door, crying to be let in. She is on another journey now. Whether that's here or somewhere else, I don't know. I had four blissful years with her, and I savored every moment of them. We shared deep soul gazing, mouse chasing, and dream surfing. The feel of her falling asleep in my arms with her soft fur bringing me untold peace, is with me forever. Even for only a few moments of divine grace, the memory will last me a lifetime. Shaida, you are in my heart forever...